If prayer is simple, why do I feel helpless?

by | Dec 12, 2022 | Faith, Writing and Reading | 18 comments |

“Although I’ve been praying and querying, the simple truth is my manuscript might not get picked up for publication,” I said to a former Memoir-in-a-Year classmate. We were attending our colleague’s book launch party, which I wrote about last week. I shrugged. “So, whatever God wants of me.” 

She smiled. “I go through every day with my palms open.” Now I smiled. She’s on her own journey in faith and writing, and in that regard, we understood one another.

Prayer is simple.

Nine years ago, in my review of Anne Lamott’s Help, Thanks, Wow, I wrote: 

We often try to go it alone, forget to say thank you and fail to notice life’s miracles. On the other hand, we pray for help to pass a test, get that job or protect others or ourselves in harm’s way. We offer thanks for good things and quick sighs of grateful relief when we escape bad things like car accidents. And who among us hasn’t experienced the awe of sky, stars, wind, rainbows or snowfall on trees, the majesty of streams, rivers, oceans, valleys, forest, hills and mountains or nature’s fascinating creatures? Wow. The End. Not quite. Amen, the fourth, culminating and final chapter. And so it is… time for trust and surrender: my huge sticking point.

Because surrender makes me feel helpless.

Change is not simple

In his post on Richard Rohr’s blog last week, Episcopal priest Adam Bucko told of his experience working with homeless youth. He believed he was there to fix their situations, but his highly-praised, solution-oriented, and evidence-based practices weren’t changing anything for the kids. “I started feeling helpless, and my confidence was shattered,” he wrote. “All that I was left with was faith . . . [and] trust that I was where God was calling me to be.” He realized he was the one who needed to change. Not simple. Until he moved into prayer. 

“I started showing up for every person who needed my help in the same way that I was showing up for prayer. Gathering all my knowledge and tools and entrusting them to God. Saying to God, ‘I think you’re calling me to do something here. This is what I come with. I offer it to you. Take it. Change it. Make it useful.’”

Change like this can leave us feeling helpless, plain and simple, because it’s about faith.

Faith is not simple at all

After my conversation with my former memoir colleague, I practiced letting go and moved into prayer. That’s when it happened. Late Friday afternoon, an email popped into my inbox.

“Dear Carole, Thank you very much for your proposal submission. I am pleased to inform you that we have accepted your proposed book for publication…”

As I read through the documents, I opened my palms and prayed. “I think you’re calling me to this, and I offer all that I am to you. Take it. Change it. Make it useful.”

But yesterday, kneeling at the altar rail with Keith, I felt helpless. I’d botched a high F while playing “He Shall Feed His Sheep,” from Handel’s Messiah, and was worried about my daughter, and wondering how I was going to accomplish this big task of publishing a book. I opened the palm of my hand, surrendered all, and took Him in. Amen.

Faith, the theme of the second week in Advent. Here is an Advent Trombone Devotional Video produced by former pastor, trombonist, and our small group leader Phil Kuehnert. A simple prayer of change that’s not simple at all.

Link up with Five Minute Friday: https://fiveminutefriday.com/2022/12/08/fmf-writing-prompt-link-up-simple/

18 Comments

  1. Marianna Crane

    Congratulations on getting a publisher for your book. Such wonderful news.

    Reply
    • Carole Duff

      Thank you so much, Marianna!

      Reply
  2. Sarah Myers

    Congratulations on your publication news! I know how much this means for you. I look forward to some wonderful reading.

    Reply
    • Carole Duff

      Thank you, my friend. A long and winding road, all for the glory of God.

      Reply
    • aschmeisser

      Yay, hooray, for your success,
      I think it is so well deserved;
      the way you write is of the best,
      and the Lord is brightly served
      by the whispers of your heart
      translated through your brilliant mind,
      such that you will be a part
      of giving sight unto the blind
      who so long wandered in the night,
      blinkered by their fear and pride;
      I know you’ll bring them to the light,
      and show them Jesus as their guide.
      So good on you, dear Carole Duff;
      I tip my Stetson, sure enough!

      Reply
      • Carole Duff

        Thank you so much for your kind and supportive words.

        Reply
    • Carole Duff

      Thank you!

      Reply
  3. Gary Fultz

    Congratulations Carole. on the book as well as the breakthrough of prayer with surrender. I consistently have to relearn the surrender part.

    Reply
    • Carole Duff

      Relearning surrender? Me too, all the time. Thank you, Gary.

      Reply
  4. Lois Roelofs

    I love your emphasis on faith, sometimes an illusive concept to those not brought up with it. It was faith that got me through my husband’s terminal illness and writing a book about it. Congratulations for having a publisher recognize and affirm your story

    Reply
    • Carole Duff

      Thank you so much for sharing your story, Lois. If our experiences help even one person, they are worth writing about.

      I wish you a blessed Christmas. -C.D.

      Reply
  5. Siv Ricketts

    Congratulations, what great news!

    Reply
    • Carole Duff

      Thank you!

      Reply
      • Carole Duff

        Thank you so much!

        Reply
  6. bigskybuckeye

    Congratulations Carole for your news about your manuscript. But most important of all, you showed each of us the power of prayer and keeping faith in God’s plan for us.

    Reply
    • Carole Duff

      Thank you, Richard. My learning curve has become very steep, now that I’ve signed a contract. I am reminded constantly that I can only do this with the help of God.

      Reply

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