Listening is not my gift. That doesn’t mean I’m not called to be attentive to others, as a fellow blogger mentioned in her New Year’s Eve post. Caring for, seeing deeply, and knowing others just takes practice.

Listening to care for others

Over Christmas, Mac ran into something sharp and came home with a gash in his right side. He didn’t whine or bark or give any sign of distress, but his wound needed treatment as soon as the veterinary clinic reopened after the holiday. 

Whenever anyone of us gets sick or injured, physical “listening” ramps up. That’s something I do relatively well. For instance, in mid-November—at the same time Keith and I were caring for one other’s food poisoning and nasty colds—Cato came home with a soft tissue sprain and cut on one of his back legs. Restricted activity and an anti-inflammatory took care of him. For Mac, it’s an antibiotic, anti-inflammatory, wound washing followed by the silver sulfide ointment, and the cone of shame to prevent him from licking it.

Even under normal circumstances, we all require lots of physical “listening” to take care of ourselves and others for whom we’re responsible. Perhaps even more, pack members want attentive listening. Everyone wants to be seen.

Listening to see others

In advance of our women’s spring retreat, I’m reading books about caregiving published by Stephen Ministries and others. In Christian Caregiving: A Way of Life, Stephen Ministries Executive Director Kenneth C. Haugk wrote about tangible ways we can be Christ to others, starting with active listening. When we provide care for hurting people, we participate in Christian therapy, to serve or to heal. Serving is relational and prepares others for healing. 

Haugk: “Therapeutic processes are actions that the caregiver can perform: listening, empathizing, helping people talk through their feelings. In this sense, anyone involved in caring for another person is providing therapy.” Though Christian caregivers are involved in the process of serving and caring, they leave the outcomes and results to God. 

Another source that I’ve just begun to read is How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen, by New York Times columnist David Brooks. Back in 2019, I read his book The Second Mountain: A Quest for a Moral Life. Now, while I ponder “listening” as my word for this year and research caregiving for the retreat, I wonder:

How do I know who I’m called to care for since I can’t serve everyone?

Listening to choose intentionally

We live longer and better when we’re engaged with family, friends, and neighbors, anyone with whom we come into contact. But to find our purpose in these engagements, we have to discover the qualities, talents, personality traits that define us. We cannot choose our gifts, but we can choose how to put those we’ve been given to good use. 

In Life Reimagined: The Science, Art, and Opportunity of Midlife, NPR journalist Barbara Bradley Hagerty writes: “The people who seem happiest are the people who feel like they’re able to express aspects of themselves that feel vital to them, that make them feel alive. It’s not any particular path you have to take, it’s being able to express the core of who you are.”

Discovering our core “essence” requires internal “listening”—and sometimes wearing a cone of silence to block out distraction. Putting our essence to good use means intentionally taking off that cone and listening to those we are called to serve. A match made in heaven.

I wish you all a blessed “listening” New Year -C.D.