Keith and Carole, December 2003

Finding love in our fifties

June is a month of anniversaries for Keith and me. For instance, June 1st is the anniversary of my mother’s birthday and my ex-husband’s death. But today’s bonus post is about wedding anniversaries. The story about how Keith and I found love in our fifties is now live on The Perennial Gen: https://theperennialgen.com/how-we-found-love-in-our-fifties/

Real love is hard to find at any age. Here’s an article about finding love later in life and the points that resonated with me:

  1. Don’t worry about aging. But I did worry. How would I stack up in a culture that worships youth? One of the gifts of aging is the understanding that…
  2. You can’t change the world, but you can change your world. Love is about caring for self and others—and telling the truth. So, I put on an attractive outfit but not my party face.
  3. Trust your gut when it tells you, “Now or never.” Finding love later in life is not always convenient. Was I willing to give up my predictable life for us?  The answer was in his kiss—and still is.
  4. Remember that love is about sharing the sunshine and the storms. Keith and I have been enormously blessed. We’ve also weathered loss and know there will be more ahead.

Staying in love after marriage

Keeping the love you’ve found is hard, too. Here are some resources. 

I’ve written about the Five Love Languages:

  • Words of affirmation
  • Acts of service
  • Receiving gifts
  • Quality time
  • Physical touch. 

This article adds a sixth element for strong and healthy marriages and my equivalencies: 

  • Connection – acts of service
  • Commitment – quality time
  • Giving – receiving gifts
  • Respect – words of affirmation
  • Trust – The foundation for all relationships, the hardest in practice, the easiest to lose.
  • Intimacy – physical touch

And here’s my recommendation for Dorothy Littell Greco’s book, Marriage in the Middle:

Keith and I found love and married in the middle. Now we cultivate our love in the third stage of life. Last year, we celebrated our anniversary at a restaurant and this year will do the same. 

One dessert, two spoons.

3 Comments

  1. Nancy Ruegg

    Happy anniversary, Carole and Keith! Among the advice you give and link to here, I must AMEN the statement that love is sharing the sunshine and the storms. We mustn’t give up on one another when adverse winds start to blow. Most often it’s during the storms of life that our martial relationships grow stronger, as we lean on one another, and together lean upon God.

    Reply
    • Carole Duff

      Thank you, Nancy! Indeed, all of us experience storms in life, and the testing can strengthen us. How blessed we are to have our spouses, the encouragement of church communities, and the steadfastness of God’s grace.

      Reply

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