This past week, Keith had an ear-infection recurrence, but with medication, he’s on the mend. And repairs to, indeed refurbishment of the under-the-deck basement entrance and west walkway are complete—before pictures above, after pictures below. We thank God, a diligent nurse practitioner, and our trusted contractor, who’s also a dear neighbor. 

All of us have things to mend: clothing and home repairs, health and unpleasant situations. If we mend our relationships with kindness—love, honesty, and forgiveness—it’s good for others, and healthy for us. Let’s look at scripture and scientific evidence.

Mend with kindness: repair something broken

…a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, Ecclesiastes 3:7 NIV

In the cyclical nature of human life, there is a time to tear or break and a time to mend or repair. These contrasting choices of action require wisdom and discernment. In Ecclesiastes 3:7, tearing refers to destruction, as in the tearing of garments in grief and repentance. Silence, as in the case of Job, speaks for itself. To mend refers to rebuilding, sewing together both literally and metaphorically—and speaking boldly. The wise know that all actions, the timing and purpose, are under God’s sovereign control.

To mend symbolizes healing, restoration, and reconciliation after loss or damage. To mend also means telling the gospel truth in bold proclamation and prayer, offering wisdom and encouragement to others. The key is to discern when to do which: tear or mend, be silent or speak. And if the choice is to mend, do so with kindness, because it’s good for others and for you. From a newspaper article titled “How Kindness Can Enhance Your Life—And Your Genes.” Note that the quotes that follow are all for this source.

“On the surface, being kind benefits the recipient, but by giving, you—the benefactor—also gain in meaningful and tangible ways. The effects of kindness manifest concretely in scientific data—and even your DNA.” 

Mend with kindness: heal, return to health

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3 NIV

When we mend with kindness, we tap into God’s compassionate healing: physical, emotional, and spiritual. We offer comfort to those who are hurting, feeling discouragement, sorrow, or rejection. Binding up wounds tenderly and carefully, God our healer provides comfort, peace and strength to overcome, hope for the brokenhearted, the promise of wholeness to those who bring their brokenness to Him.

We can mirror God’s kind actions through our own. “Acts of kindness usually begin with empathy. As we feel compassion for others’ suffering, we are inclined to free them from it, motivating acts of kindness. In those moments, our brain’s ‘empathy circuit’ lights up.” And thus, kindness mends both receivers and givers.

Mend with kindness: improve a difficult situation

but now I will heal and mend them. I will make them whole and bless them with an abundance of peace and security. Jeremiah 33:6 CEB

“…kindness goes beyond the desire to free people from suffering and includes an intention to improve others’ well-being without expecting anything in return.” Even in the midst of dark times, destruction and suffering, loss and broken relationships, God promises to heal and mend. To bring peace and security to His people and future restoration, both physical and spiritual, the ultimate being the fulfillment of His covenant through His Son. Peace, Shalom. Completeness, hope, eternal life.

God made us in His image. Studies have found that people who performed kind acts for others showed a healthy change in their genetic activity in immune cells. That is, blood samples showed reduced expression of genes tied to inflammation and stress. 

Sometimes all we can do to mend a broken situation or improve a difficult relationship is to pray and give it to God. To forgive without expecting anything in return. To love sacrificially.

To mend with kindness and truth. And in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:6 NIV

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