I knew I should suffer well, but when twinges zapped my leg in the middle of the night, my pain meter rocketed from zero to ten in a split second. While massaging my leg, stretching, and walking out the electrical shock-like twinge-cramps, I told myself, no wearing those cute high-heeled boots I’d worn two days in a row. And if I humble myself, I’ll transcend and exit this valley of pain, maybe even become a better person.

The twinges calmed that night two weeks ago but struck again last week, this time during the day and for seemingly no reason. I did an internet search and discovered both simple and dire diagnoses. Was I losing my health?

Suffer loss

By the time we reach the third stage of life, we’ve all suffered loss from the death of grandparents, parents, other family members, friends, and for some, spouses and/or children. We usually outlive our pets, too. 

The pure grief I experienced upon the death our beloved first dog Heathcliff helped me to grieve for human, more complicated losses, which I wrote about in an essay published in Please See Me. Relationships are messy, filled with hope and love, regret and disappointment.

Suffer disappointment

Though we all suffer disappointment, it can look very different on us, states Dorothy Greco in The Sage Forum March 2024 Newsletter. “Once we have learned to identify what disappointment looks like on us, then we need to trace it back to its source: typically, our expectations. We feel disappointed when our expectations are dashed or thwarted.”

Heathcliff never disappointed us, and he was rarely disappointed, other than not being able to go with us. Similarly, people—and God—disappoint us when they don’t give us what we want. 

Dorothy Greco: “Disappointment is also often connected to powerlessness. So much of life, particularly as we age, is utterly out of our control.”

How I need to humble myself and suffer well, not for wanting what I want but for what is right.

Suffer for what is right

But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.”  

1 Peter 3:14 (NIV)

In our country, we can still worship freely. But there are Christians in other parts of the world who are persecuted for their faith. I subscribe to The Voice of the Martyrs so I can be aware of their suffering and pray for them. I want that kind of faith.

As Paul wrote in Romans 8:17-19 (NIV), “Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed.” 

A good expectation. And in the meantime, here’s a taste of spring, which rarely disappoints.

Epilogue: Sciatica is the likely cause of my leg twinges, and stretching the best solution. I’ve been hurrying my morning back and neck stretches for some time. Now that I have slowed them down, the twinges have stopped. To rule out the dire, I’ll mention them during my annual check-up next week. And thank God for the resources He has provided.

Linkup to Five Minute Friday: https://fiveminutefriday.com/2024/02/29/fmf-writing-prompt-link-up-suffer/